10 Cloverfield Lane (2016 film)

10 cloverfield lane

This font really worked for me.

I went to see a matinée about two weeks after this film’s release. Anytime there is a thriller with major 3rd act spoilers, I usually encounter some kind of information leak that dampens my experience. Through some minor efforts and a little bit of luck, I was able to view 10 Cloverfield Lane with my entire spoiler hymen intact.

The film uses a lot of conventional “thriller” techniques to garner desired emotional responses from the viewer. But, like watching a magician, if they are good enough at their craft, you can enjoy a trick you’ve seen before. There was nothing too ground-breaking in the writing or the performances, but it all worked roughly the way it was supposed to. This is making for a rather dull and uninteresting review, but I haven’t updated BC in so long, I decided I’d just force myself to muster out some sexy consonant and vowel combinations.

Mary Elizabeth Winstead is really attractive. But, she’s a good enough actress to not let it get too distracting (as long as she’s wearing pants).

A brief glimpse of some bad acting.

A momentary lapse of ineffective acting amidst an otherwise solid performance.

Her character Michelle, was surprisingly relatable for a movie of this genre. Usually, characters in these kinds of movies make head-scratching, non GTO, button-clicking decisions that take you right out of the moment. It’s hard to get swept up in a character or a plot when you watch your main protagonist make a decision to fire off a titty pic on Snapchat while being pursued by a pedophile with a meat cleaver. This film stayed close enough to reality to get by, and it made a positive difference.

Speaking of pedophiles, there are really only two other actors in the film – John Goodman plays Howard Stambler, a creepy doomsday prepper with a penchant for kidnapping and murder. And John Gallagher Jr., who plays Emmett DeWitt, an uneducated sweetheart with uncomfortably low testosterone levels.

Honkey Dong

Everyone turns in a fine performance. Nothing all that amazing, but enough to allow the story to hold your attention and be the real star of the film. The pacing was terrific, as this movie could have easily dragged on. So many before it have mistaken unnecessary rambling 5-10 minute lead-ups to stupid jump scares for genuine tension-building. Alas, director Dan Trachtenberg, and writers Josh Campbell and Matt Stuecken did not take the bait, and gave us some well-timed peaks and valleys on our rollercoaster ride.

Dat Azzz Tho

Dat Azzz Tho

I usually don’t give a flying fuck about dumping spoilers all over my readers, but in this case, I think it would significantly detract from the film. And I think you should go see it, and live a happy life. So, I’ll make an exception and just end the review here.


Overall Rating :  7.1/10


– JA

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