At some point in human evolution, it became advantageous for men to climax more quickly than women. It was also common for multiple males to mate with the same female within a 24 hour period of time, and have their sperm engage in a battle royale to the uterine finish line. Perhaps there are other societal constructs in place that also contribute to the fact that it takes men only about 5 minutes to achieve orgasm, while it takes about 18 minutes for women during intercourse(masturbation seems to be a more equal race). However this gap came to be, it does exist. And the problems that stem from it may be more than just frustration and disappointment.
At the end of the day, a vast percentage of our actions and desires stem from very base, shallow, primal desires. We are evolutionarily programmed to do anything and everything to survive above everything else. Part of that survival has historically depended upon our acceptance within a social group. If you want to be protected, eat, and mate – it would be in your best interest to conform, and fit into the group. Being kicked out was certain death. This fear of being ostracized is the psychological cornerstone on which Empires have been built, and why everyone adopts the same fashions and trends from decade to decade.
Second to that desire, is our drive to reproduce. The only thing placed ahead of our own survival, is the survival of our offspring. Only until the last century or two(which is a very short time period in the 70,000+ year history of Homo sapiens) has there been a significant amount of time dedicated to anything but surviving, reproducing, and protecting the offspring.
Now let’s apply this to our day-to-day lives. Has much changed? Well, it seems like we’re getting the hang of the survival part, as global life expectancy is about three times as high as it used to be. But, why do you wear the clothes you wear? Are you trying to attract a mate? Why do you eat the foods you eat? Why do you lie about things? What is the root of every action you take throughout the day? I submit almost all of them are directly attached to those base needs for survival, social-climbing/acceptance, mating, or protection of offspring.
The only exception to this is the hopeless optimism, imagination, and thirst for knowledge part of human beings. Although, being an inventor or pioneer does have a great deal of societal acclaim and reward to it. So, you could argue that this is subconsciously tied to climbing the social ladder and becoming more attractive to mates, and/or less likely to be cast out to the wolves.
But, getting back to the arousal gap…. I started thinking about how almost 100% of violent, heinous acts are carried out by men. Is that coincidence? At the helm of almost every war, act of terror, rape, and senseless act of destruction you will find a man. But, not just any man. Specifically, a sexually frustrated one. I mean, show me a sexually repressed and dysfunctional society, and I’ll show you some witch trials and planes flying into buildings. What was it again the men were promised in exchange for killing thousands of innocent people? Oh yeah : 72 Virgins. Hmmm.
I submit that if a man feels sexually desired and fulfilled, he tends to be less rage filled, frustrated, and inspired to get off his couch and kill a bunch of people. I mean it’s hard to ramp up the testosterone required to go on a stabbing spree in a pre-school when you’re still in your refractory period. This isn’t to say the answer is for men to have a steady flow of blow jobs and orgies on tap, but it probably wouldn’t hurt the cause. Although, they just might permanently stay on the couch, but that’s better than the 150th incarnation of Columbine / Charlie Hebdo. I’m aware that Barely Conscious has a tendency to be rife with reductionist thought, and over-generalizations. But on this issue, I specifically think that sexually frustrated men are the root of all evil, and this arousal gap might just be at the heart of it all. Although, shouldn’t women be the more sexually frustrated ones in the gap??
Perhaps it’s not the gap at all – maybe it’s the total denial of sex. The porn/prostitution industry is overwhelmingly driven by the needs of men. Why do they have these needs? Obviously, they aren’t being met. But, why aren’t they being met? And what happens when you have a man go through his sexual prime with no outlet?
People who don’t feel desired or loved tend to not be beneficial members of society. They have higher propensities to write manifestos in the woods, and mail anthrax to celebrities and politicians. This unfortunate arousal gap might be why women fake orgasms, and men end up paying for affection and sex. Or maybe not at all. I am really just guessing here.
The answer to the problem might be as simple as acknowledgement of the issue, and education how to best bridge the arousal gap. Maybe if everyone could simultaneously orgasm, and be open and in touch with their sexual needs and desires, there would be less acid thrown in the face of women, prostitutes found in suitcases, and we wouldn’t have to take our fucking shoes off at the airport.