Prometheus (2012 film)

I'll give you a hint : it's semen. Alien semen.

I’ll give you a hint : It’s semen. Alien semen.

Sir Ridley Scott returns to his Alien roots, taking the helm as director for Prometheus – a pseudo prequel to the Alien franchise. Ridley scared the living shit out of audiences back in 1979 with the original Alien film. He stated his desire to produce similar results with this endeavor. While Prometheus didn’t really scare me too much, it did captivate and entertain me. There was one scene(homo/alien C-section) that stood out as particularly uncomfortable to watch, but I wouldn’t describe the film as “terrifying”.

The clear standout in this film is Michael Fassbender who plays an android named “David”. He absolutely nails it, and is fascinating to watch in every scene. Apparently, Fassbender borrowed vocal cues from the Hal 9000 computer in 2001 : A Space Odyssey and the “funny walk and economy of movement” of Olympic diver Greg Louganis. Anyone who can mash inspirations like that without the result being pure comedy, is pretty much a thespian genius.

Yes Michael, YOU the man, indeed.

Yes Michael, YOU the man, indeed.

Just imagine yourself(or really most actors you can think of) attempting to walk like Greg Louganis and talk like Hal, not only without looking like a complete asshole, but go beyond, and deliver a truly captivating performance. Noomi Rapace plays archaeologist Elizabeth Shaw. She must have completely exhausted herself physically and emotionally for this performance. It was worth the effort, as she was a terrific lead.

Demolition Man was right, there IS Taco Bell in the future.

Demolition Man was right, there IS Taco Bell in the future.

The acting was actually solid across the board, and so was the writing, with one glaring exception. There is one scene early in the movie where a geologist (Fifield) and a biologist (Millburn) are stuck inside an alien cave with strange lifeforms. The whole setup to this scene is their two characters being solidified as overly cautious pussies, who are terrified of everything and anything. Then all of a sudden, and with no explanation, they decide to remove parts of their protective space suits to approach an unknown slimy black alien sea serpent thing – as if they were at a Busch Gardens petting zoo. I still can’t watch this scene without going into a conniption fit over why any character in their position would ever do this. And further, why the bloody hell the writers would go out of their way to establish that these particular characters would be the last characters to fall into the “don’t go in the basement alone in your panties” horror cliché. Seriously, how the fuck did this happen? I mean, 51.9%  of the reason I wrote this review was to get that plot hole off my chest.

The engineer quickly realizes why he shouldn't have turned down that orange chaser for his wheat grass shot

The Engineer quickly realizes he shouldn’t have turned down that orange chaser for his wheat grass shot

Anyway, I forgot what I was going to say next due to the rage of having to think about that god damned scene again. I swear I have mild PTSD from the flashbacks it gives me some nights. But, to refocus my thoughts, Prometheus is visually stunning, refreshingly creative, and a definite must-see. Very few movies have ever used a $130,000,000 budget so efficiently, but Prometheus squeezed almost every penny out.

Overall Rating :  8.9/10

– JA